The windscreen is bigger than the rear-vision mirror

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It’s one of those things that most people do every a car and focus on where they are going.

We have a range of tools at our disposal when driving: Satellite navigation, traffic information, parking distance control, distance control, self braking cars, and aids which keep us aware of what’s in our blind spots.

All of these tools are intended to assist us focus on the front windscreen and where we are going.

And, of course, then there’s the rear-vision mirror which tells us where we’ve been (and provide some guidance on what’s coming up behind us).

Where do we place the bulk of our attention when driving?

The windscreen, I hope!

Because that’s where we are going.

And we scan our surroundings, including behind us, to ensure we know what’s going on, and be aware of where we’ve been.

The challenge is keeping the ratio of windscreen and rear-vision mirror in balance.

So, here’s my point.

How often do you find yourself spending WAY too much time in talking about the past? Complaining about people or situations who have crossed you, recounting the same old story of bad luck or ill fortune, remembering that A-grade boofhead you had to endure for way too long. Over and over and over and over again.

So here’s the hint….


Certainly, we must respect the past.

It actually happened. It WAS real. It’s a valuable part of you, it IS your experience, it is useful.

But it is NOT you. And it is NOT your future.

The rear-vision mirror is something to scan, to acknowledge, to learn from. However you can’t live in the past. And you can’t define yourself by what you once did, or never let go of that (positive or negative ) event that once impacted you.

I played cricket. I was a wicket keeper. I retired. I learned a lot. It’s a brilliant memory and I have so many mates. And despite the fact I claim I never dropped a catch, I may have fumbled the odd ball(!). But that was then and now is now.

The windscreen is where we must focus. That’s where we are going. The future is something to look forward to…not something to endure why our past is glorified and missed.

Create tomorrow’s memories today.

They are right in front of you. In the windscreen!


Hope and Trust

kayack night

I was talking with my mate, Max, last week.

Max is a fascinating bloke.

We worked together many years ago. We were both younger, and he a little younger than me.

He wasn’t called Max back then.

He made a decision to go off into the army as it suited what he needed in life at that point.

He did well.

Without going into details, let’s say Max moved from regulars to commandos and into the intelligence parts of the military.

That’s how he became known as Max.

When he left the military, he chose a new industry and went on to become a recognised expert in his new field of endeavour.

We’ve worked together a few times since those days and talk almost every day now as we often commute together.

Max is a special guy.

He has some very simple philosophies on life.

For example:

  • there’s people he loves, people he cares about, and then there’s everyone else. He believes we only have so much capacity to care in our life and we should focus it judiciously.
  • He doesn’t believe in political correctness. He argues that an offence can’t be given, only taken, so people need to shift their mindset rather than complaining.

Once we were doing some kayaking together for fitness. We usually drank a few beers afterwards as well.

After 4 trips out, he tells me he’s entered us into a race.

I’m flabbergasted. I’d kayaked 4 times in my life. I wasn’t doing a race!

The race happened to be an overnight adventure from Windsor to Brooklyn along the Hawkesbury River north of Sydney.

110km, 2 tide shifts, dark, lonely, hard. 15 hours.

I crewed for Max, which meant I drove my car and met him at the various pit stops along the course and fed him and watered him.

After stop 1, he was gutted. Against the tide, bloody hands, exhausted. 4 hours in.

He kept going.

Anyway, he finished the race.

And won his class.

Army philosophy: no matter how tired you are, no matter how bad the situation seems, you can always take one more step. And then another. And things can improve when you do. Simple, true, and obviously very effective.

Max said something last week that inspired me.

We were talking about a difficult situation and he looked at me with his intelligent eyes and said:

“Making a commitment provides hope, delivering on a commitment delivers trust”.

What a wonderfully simple statement.

Talk isn’t necessarily cheap as it does provide hope.

And hope is important. Hope provides motivation, inspiration, reason.

But it becomes cheap if it isn’t followed by action.

Following through, doing all that’s needed to deliver on the hope. Being sincere and not leaving anything in the fuel tank in pursuit of the hope.

That’s really important. Because delivering on the commitment provides trust.

And from trust comes self-belief, knowledge, courage, confidence.

Those multiplier effects that drive even greater achievement.

Make a commitment to drive hope and do so carefully and with conviction.

Conviction, not just in the statement of hope, but in the drive to implement what is required to achieve the “hope”.

Because delivering on the hope, delivering on the future state, delivering on potential, is what creates trust.

And trust drives synergy, and synergy is what drives outstanding sustainable performance.

Remember Max when you next make a commitment to other people that gives them hope. And “hope” that he’s not hiding in a bush outside making sure that you deliver on your commitment!

Leadership and humility – a match made in heaven


Are leadership and humility mutually exclusive?

Think about it.

The stereotype leader is a confident, driven, out there person, right?

Good communicator? Absolutely! Mandatory!

Talks a lot about their successes, right?


And No…

I reckon the leaders that most people follow are the ones to whom they can best relate.

The ones that are most human, that kick goals sure, but also have a genuine humility about them.

How do you re-enforce your humility?

Try these techniques:

  1. Become a master story teller – your good experiences, your not so good experiences. Demonstrate that you are fallible and successful. Just like other people.
  2. Become the master of the insightful question – we all have 2 ears, 2 eyes and 1 mouth – make sure people know the ears aren’t painted om – listen to people. Earn their respect and learn from their insights.
  3. Innovate incessantly, but do so by allowing other people to come up with the ideas. Let’s face it, the job of a leader is to facilitate outcomes, not have all the ideas. Share the ability to ideate with other people.
  4. Walk the talk. If you want people to do certain things, make sure they see you as someone who does what they say. That means sometimes letting other people lead and role model being an awesome team member.

Food for thought

How to handle the rude person with a phone…


Now, I am an avid user of technology.

I tend not to use paper and keep things in the cloud. I can access information anywhere on any device.

It works for me.

However, technology has also caused some very bad habits to develop in people.

Some of them are bad personal habits; let’s face it, dinners and mobile phones don’t mix, right?

One of the relevant business issues is the mobile in the meeting.

I read this article on this subject and thought I’d share it with you.

It provides a familiar situation we have also faced and some ideas on how to address it.


If your audience is distracted by their phones don’t criticise them.

by Rebekah Campbell

“Some time ago I pitched Hey You to a major organisation. The chief executive and chief financial officer sat on the other side of an antique table with four other members of the executive team. My business partner and I perched together, PowerPoint deck ready to go. We’d spent weeks preparing this presentation; my palms were slick with anticipation and fear. This could be the opportunity of a lifetime.

One minute in, my pitch struck a hurdle. The CEO pulled out his mobile phone and began to twiddle. Was he, perhaps, looking up our app? As the minutes ticked by, it became clear he wasn’t checking out our app; he was checking his emails. He sniffed and smiled at the content of one of his messages.

A few minutes later the CFO received a text message, whereupon he too focused on his phone. So I delivered my finely rehearsed lines to the tops of two balding heads. Other members of the team leaned forward, perhaps in sympathy, but it didn’t compensate for the mental absence of two key decision makers.

Disrespected and powerless, I couldn’t focus. I wanted to impress the group, but their leaders weren’t giving me a chance. I began to fumble my words as my brain scrambled for a way to win back my audience. Should I complain? I wondered.

Psychologist and communications expert Clare Mann says my reaction is typical. She says the focus and actions of a listener affects the quality of the speaker’s delivery. “When someone notices that they aren’t being listened to, their attention will move to their inner voice. They’ll question what the listener is thinking and lose eloquence.”

I didn’t feel it was appropriate to stop my presentation and demand the CEO pay attention. Mann’s advice to is to work to win back rapport at any cost. “There is no point continuing to speak as if you hadn’t noticed they were on their phones.”

She says that continuing under such circumstances is unlikely to win the business anyway. The distracted executives will walk away underwhelmed by the presentation and without appreciating the key points. Worse, Mann believes that saying nothing creates anxiety and erodes confidence. “You don’t want to feel like a girl who just gave a pitch and no one listened. It’s important to constantly check in with yourself. What are you feeling and what are the consequences of not speaking out?”

If by chance they did say yes, Mann says, I’d have established a bad precedent. By checking emails or looking at their phone in a meeting, the person is making a statement that their time is more important than yours. “If they don’t treat you as an equal then you have to decide if you want to work with the person.”

I’ve since presented at many disengaged meetings. It’s frustrating when I’ve got something important to share and people are typing on phones or laptops. It’s especially difficult when there’s a power imbalance such as a business pitch. Mann concedes that calling out bad behaviour is difficult. Her advice for rescuing a presentation that has lost its audience is:

1. Stop the meeting and ask a question

Mann suggests using the person’s name. “People always hear their name and if you ask something that requires a response then you can bring the person back into the conversation.” If a group has lost interest, then Mann suggests standing up and inviting the group to participate. “Standing, moving forward or around a table surprises people and makes it difficult for them to ignore you.”

2. Make a direct request

If they still aren’t paying attention, then Mann says be direct and explain why it’s important to listen. For example; “David, I have an opportunity that will transform your business. If you give me 10 minutes of your undivided attention, I know you will find what I have to say valuable.” She recommends a firm tone of voice; don’t try to be appealing.

3. Allow the person to save face

Your objective should be to bring the person back into rapport so they can engage in the conversation. Be careful not to criticise or embarrass: they won’t listen if they feel uncomfortable.

Fortunately, I was able to win back the CEO and CFO at my boardroom presentation. I pulled out my phone and asked everyone to use our app to order coffees. It felt clunky and a bit aggressive but I was able to re-establish a connection with my listeners. I maintained eye-contact with the CEO for the rest of the meeting and asked regular questions to keep everyone engaged.

In hindsight, I’m glad that I didn’t power forward knowing that some people weren’t listening. The sense that my message wasn’t being heard was both unpleasant and offensive. I wouldn’t have forgiven myself if I had walked away knowing I hadn’t made an impact.

Rebekah Campbell is a tech entrepreneur and co-founder of Hey You! Australia’s largest cafe app.”

That special place…

I had a special moment last week.

I had to take a boat trip from the end of Pittwater, across Broken Bay, up to Brisbane Waters.

For those who don’t know Sydney, Broken Bay is the large waterway about 20km north of Sydney.


It’s one of the very special places on this earth. Beautiful. Serene. Large. Very Large.

I was in my inflatable tender and I was on my own. (I had all the right safety gear, so no need to fret!)

As I passed Barrenjoey headland heading across the mouth of Broken Bay, I stopped.


I turned off the engine.

There was little swell, little wind, and a lot of sun.

It was warm for a winter’s day.

It was quiet.

It was magnificent.

I was in awe.

I had a “stop the world” moment.

I have been busy, and I have not been on the water for a while.

And I realised what I’d been missing.

We all have that special place, or that important activity, that we connect with; that takes us out of the hustle and bustle; that re-energises us; that touches our very essence.

For me it’s the water.

And Broken Bay is a large part of that experience.

I videoed the moment and will use that video to remind me of what I need to do more often.

What’s your special moment and are you using it?

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What I see…


I love facilitating.

Lots of clever people coming together to discuss and change something.

There’s energy, frustration, different levels of understanding and skills, but generally an aligned purpose and a desire to do the right thing.

What inspires me most is seeing the different styles of leadership in a dynamic group environment.

So I’ve thought about some of the leadership styles I see and here are some of my observations:

  • I see people who just seem to have a natural ability to attract “followers”, that important element of leadership. Let’s face it, a leader without followers is probably not a leader but an isolate, right? Those who attract followers tend to have a leadership advantage.
  • Because leaders have followers, the sustainable, successful leaders tend to think about teams and teamwork. And they use language associated with teams, not individuals. As Lao Tzu indicated, “when the best leader’s work is done, the people say, ‘we did it ourselves.’”
  • As great leaders tend to empower their people to success, there’s no surprise they are often asking their people 3 simple questions to help them and build and strengthen relationships:
  1. How are you?
  2. How are we (i.e. how’s our relationship)?
  3. What can I do to help you (achieve your potential)?

They know people, and more than just at a superficial level.

And they tend to personalise the way they engage – they remember key personal facts and circumstances.

  • They tend to be open and not concerned about exposing themselves as REAL humble, vulnerable people. They have an ethical or moral compass which guides their approach. Don’t get me wrong, they also have an ego, but it’s controlled and in check.
  • And they are simple and effective communicators. The message received by the people to whom they communicate is the real message. So, they explain things in a way that people can understand. And they tend to tell lots of stories. Cultures are built around stories and these leaders are great at the skill!

Always learning!

A curious mindset


Ever met one of those people who knows everything?

We all have.

How do you feel when you encounter them?

  • Hmmm?
  • I’m more focused on how the person makes you feel than their delusional perspective.
  • Maybe they do know everything, but I doubt it….

Contrast that to someone who demonstrates they are genuinely curious.

They ask a lot of questions.

They find out about you, and what you know and think.

How do they make you feel?

  • Different, right?
  • Pretty good I suspect!

So, here’s the deal – in dealing with other people, be curious.

  • Treat them with unconditional respect, irrespective of history.
  • Ask lots of questions.
  • At a personal level about their life, their hobbies, their interests, their ideas.
  • And at a professional level about ways to improve the business, the customer, the next big thing.
  • Build a 1:1 relationship.
  • Encourage them to explore their ideas; empower them to take some risks, to do things that stretch them. And you.
  • Allow them to make some mistakes, and have success. Ensure they explore their boundaries, and help you do the same.
  • Recognise their differences and allow them to be themselves. Learn from them. Teach them.

It takes some strength of character to be vulnerable; but seeking to learn is actually an implicit example of vulnerability.

It means there’s plenty you don’t know. And you acknowledge it!

And people feel closer to someone who is vulnerable and strong enough to share their vulnerability, right?

A few questions, a curious mindset.

Simple, actionable.